Human Nature (Things Heard and Said)

I was just headed to my car when another car slowly pulled up behind me. It was an older woman behind the wheel. She had a prominent frown on her face but you know what they say about the books and the covers and such.

‘Where’s the car wash around here?’

‘Which one?’

‘The car wash!‘ she reiterated.

‘There’s two that direction,’ I explained to her, pointing north. ‘One on the left and one at the right.’

‘I’m looking for one called the Spa.’

‘That’ll be on the right,’ I said. ‘Alright, see that light right there?’

She nodded.

‘You’re going to go straight through that. When you get to the second light, you’re going to take a right.’

‘So go through the first light, turn right at the second?’

‘Yes ma’am. There’ll be an Aldi up there by the Spa.’

‘I’m not from around here so I won’t be looking for that,’ she assured me with a hiss.

‘Fair enough. Hope that helps. Have a good one.’

‘Yeah,’ she muttered and drove slowly to the end of the lot. She had to turn around and headed out of the lot just as slow.

I got in my car and started towards those two intersections too. I was headed to the left though. I figured she would already be at the car wash since I didn’t leave the parking lot right away. But sure enough, we met at the first intersection.

You realize how incredibly boring this story is, right?

I do.

Okay.

I was in the left lane, she was in the right. The light turned green and we started for the second light straight ahead. Couldn’t miss it if you tried. I looked over a couple times to get her attention but she was like a horse with blinders. She was on a mission. And when we got to the light, I made my way to the left turn lane.

And she made her way to the right?

Nope. I watched that grumpy old woman haul ass through a yellow light, headed straight.

A Most Dangerous Game (Things Heard and Said)

“Heads down!” they commanded. We all put our heads down and covered our eyes. Of everything that could happen in these situations, we always expected the worst. That was for the simple reason that the worst always happpened in these situations.

Their feet shuffled over the floor, any secrecy done out the window with. It seemed like each one would get closer and closer, only to tag their victim and move on. You could hear the exasperated sighs and heavy breathing of anticipation around the small room.

One of them drew near to me. Even with my eyes closed, I could tell who it was. The heels of his boots were too recognizable. I wonder if he even had to think about it. He came over and hit me over the head with unnecessary force, yet there was obviously a bit of restraint involved. Maybe I would live to see another day . . .

“Heads up!” a voice commanded. The room looked like a dozen souls just woke from heavy sleep with weary eyes adjusting to the lights once again. This was the moment of truth.

“You didn’t see anything?” somebody asked one of the others.

“No,” he replied.

“Well, then, who did it?”

He looked around at the lineup, unsure. Several pairs of eyes looked intimidatingly at him. A few seemed to tempt him to give them up, just so they could torment him even further.

“I-I-I don’t know,” he stumbled, eyes trained on Sally.

“You have to give an answer!” he was told, threateningly.

“S-s-sally!” he pointed. “She did it.”

“No.” With that one word, he sank down, defeated.

Now all eyes were trained on me. “Well, C. Who did it?”

I looked at the lineup. Sally was still in the running but I knew it wasn’t her. She wouldn’t risk a cooties epidemic. Al had a mischievous look on his face but it was obviously a distraction; he had figured out how to psychologically manipulate others early on.

That left two. The first was Woodrow. He sported a fancy pair of cowboy boots and would’ve wore the hat if permitted. He seldom had a mean streak though, just a penchant for orneriness. It wasn’t him. Not even close.

It was Mickey.

He smirked, knowingly. It was killing him not to laugh. I must have had a bump on my head or something. It certainly hurt, but watching him try not to laugh somehow hurt too.

“You guys have to start answering faster! We’re running out of time!” There was urgency in the teacher’s voice. There was betrayal in mine.

“Woodrow.”

“You’re out!”

I imagined how I would fight Mickey later on, use my size to my advantage. I would not hold back. Maybe punch him? Kick him? Tell him how he was a damned bully and I was going to lay the hurt on him?

After a few rounds of Heads Up Seven Up, the rainy day activity came to a close. They sent us single file down to lunch. Mickey and I sat together, of course.

“I wish they’d let us play outside in the rain,” he complained.

“That would be more fun,” I agreed.

“You know I tagged you, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Good,” he said, taking a bite out of lukewarm piece of cardboard masquerading as a piece of pizza. I sipped a chocolate milk, realizing that vengeance may not be the best option. The table was already pretty lonely.